17 Key Bridesmaid Duties Before, During, and After the Wedding (2024)

Whether it's expected or a complete surprise, being asked to be a bridesmaid is an honor. On one of the most important days of her life, the bride wants you to stand next to her as she says "I do" to her partner. However, knowing exactly how to show up for your friend, cousin, or sister before, on, and after her big day can often feel overwhelming. How can you best support her? What are some of the key bridesmaids duties to be aware of?

"A great bridesmaid is supportive, proactive, and positive," says Aleah Valley, the co-founder of Valley & Company Events. "Be available and present. Offering your help early on and throughout the entire planning process will go a long way." When your friend first asks you to be a part of her bridal party, you may throw yourself into assisting with pre-wedding events, such as the bachelorette party or her bridal shower. However, beyond helping organize those gatherings, there are many small responsibilities and duties to be aware of. Remember that each bride is different—and may have a distinct set of expectations for her closest friends and family members. "Every couple and wedding is unique, which is what makes the experience so special," Valley says. "The same goes for the size, makeup, and responsibilities of the wedding party. While rooted in tradition, the wedding party plays a vital role in supporting the bride throughout her journey."

Here, the experts break down some key traditional bridesmaids duties to be aware of before, during, and after your bride's big day. By keeping each of these in mind as you fulfill your role, you'll play a key part in making sure her nuptials are everything she dreamed of.

Before the Wedding

Before the big day, there's a fair amount of planning that you may be involved in as a bridesmaid. Here's what to keep in mind.

Be Emotionally Supportive

It's no secret: Wedding planning can be stressful. As a result, it’s important to be there for the bride in those moments of tension. "Providing emotional support is also central, ensuring the bride feels calm and cared for while planning such a momentous occasion," Valleys says.

Attend Appointments

"Many bridesmaids attend dress appointments and lend support [in] helping a bride choose her attire for the wedding weekend," Valleys says. If you're a close friend of the bride, she may value having your opinion in choosing her dress or even picking out her flowers.

Communicate Honestly

Take the time to understand what's expected of you as a bridesmaid by having honest conversations about those responsibilities from day one.Sometimes, even the expectations you have for yourself as a bridesmaid may be beyond your financial means. Be communicative if you’re not able to handle something.

Help With Pre-Wedding Events

Planning (and paying for) the bridal shower and the bachelorette party are two of the biggest pre-wedding expectations. The maid of honor will typically take the lead, but as a bridesmaid, you should plan to support her efforts.

Assist With Attire

Some brides may already have a strong vision of what they want their wedding party to wear. However, if the bride asks for your help, you can certainly chime in (respectfully!) on ideas for the bridesmaids’ attire, hair, or makeup.

While it's important to adhere to the bride's vision, the one exception is if you’re asked to wear something you're truly uncomfortable with (i.e. something too low-cut or that you can’t wear a supportive bra with). “If you already know what you’re uncomfortable with it’s totally fair to bring that up,” says Jane Yu, the co-founder of YU & US Events. “Just let the bride know before they pick anything, so you don’t derail plans.”

Keep It Positive

In many cases, not all of the bridesmaids will know each other. They may be from different places, backgrounds, and phases of the bride’s life; it’s possible that conversations could get misconstrued or personalities may clash. Don’t leave it up to the bride to be the middleman or set the tone for the group. Play nice, be kind, don’t complain, and don't stir up any unnecessary drama."The energy you bring to each planning milestone, and the celebration itself, is contagious," Valley says. "Stay upbeat, solve problems as they arise, and ensure the bride feels cherished and supported."

Give a Gift

If you can afford it, it's customary to give an item from the registry or gift something, such as a spa day or facial, for the bridal shower. If other bridesmaids want to chip in, it’s also a great idea to pool your resources on a larger gift for the couple.

During the Wedding

When the big day finally arrives, here's how to make sure you're showing up for the bride.

Attend the Rehearsal Dinner

As a bridesmaid, you'll be expected to attend any wedding-weekend events. And during the rehearsal dinner, you may be asked to give a toast.

Connect with the Planner

It’s important to know who the wedding planner is and understand your role with them. You’ll likely meet the planner during the rehearsal and will usually be given direction from them at some point during the wedding weekend. Cooperate with the planner, be mindful of their schedule, and make sure you do whatever is asked of you to ensure that everything goes smoothly.

Know the Plan

The timeline should be shared with you a week or two prior to the wedding day. While Yu says you don’t have to memorize this, be sure to review it, understand how the day will flow, and remember the details to the best of your ability.

Don’t Complain

Yes, the wedding is a long day for the entire bridal party, but remember that it's important to stay positive. "Weddings can come with last-minute changes or stressful moments, so staying flexible and patient are also great qualities," Valley says. "Always stay calm and just focus on helping the bride feel relaxed and celebrated."

Feed the Bride

The bride or her mother usually provides refreshments for the group as they get ready. However, Yu says to also make sure the bride herself stays hydrated and fed amidst all of the wedding-day excitement.

Greet Guests

Depending on the bride's preference, she may ask you to greet guests before the ceremony. "[Bridesmaids] often take part in the processional and may assist with greeting guests or guiding them to their seats as well," Valley says.

Prepare for Photos

After everyone is finished getting ready, make sure the bride has everything she needs for her photos. Typically, the planner will have most of the important things, but you can help keep track of smaller items, such as a touch-up lipstick, blotting papers, and the bride’s phone.

Be a Bathroom Buddy

If the bride’s dress is a ball gown or a similar stye, she'll likely need someone to help hold up or maneuver the ensemble in the restroom. You may also need to bustle the dress during the reception. Additionally, if the bride is changing outfits, she may need help getting out of one and into the other.

After the Wedding

Yes, the majority of your duties as a bridesmaid will happen before the wedding and on the big day—but there are still some things you can do to pitch in after the couple ties the knot. "After the wedding, the wedding party often helps gather personal items, transport gifts and participate in post-wedding events like a next-day brunch," Valley says.

Help With Returns

Offer to help take leftover items back to the hotel, or return any rentals to the vendor.

Share Photos

Create a digital collection of any photos and videos taken by the wedding party while the couple is waiting for their official photos, which can take four to eight weeks to receive.

Bridesmaid and Maid of Honor Duties: Key Differences

If you're the maid of honor, you may have a different set of responsibilities than the rest of the bridesmaids. "The maid of honor (or matron of honor or man of honor) typically has a more prominent leadership role, guiding the bridesmaids and being the bride’s primary go-to person," Valley says. "In the lead-up to the wedding, the maid of honor typically takes the lead in organizing events such as the bridal shower or bachelorette party, handling logistics, and rallying the bridesmaids." On the wedding day, you may hold the bride's bouquet during the ceremony or even sign the marriage license as a witness, she adds.